His Name Was Scott

There are moments when life changes in a split second. I hate to say it, but most of the time these aren’t “Lottery Winning Moments” . I know, everyone has been given their own burdens to bear, in this life we led. If you don’t have any burdens of your own please write. I want to know the person, and this Utopian life they lead. Or simply see how well the lie of a burden free life is told. As that’s all I can see the claim as being.

Long ago as an outsider I slipped into a group of wonderfully flawed social misfits. Which hey, go figure, worked for me. These guy had all gone to school together, when they went to school. Honestly not in the greatest of areas back then. It was just past Seattle city line, out of “Rat City”.

I fit well with crew of guys. Hell, shared homes meals bottles booze work and life in general with these guys. The times weren’t always the best, but we all made it through. Strengthening our friendship. We even got a nickname, “The Ton of Fun, Crew”. Our boss came up with that, and referred to us by it. The job was like being an under paid over work bouncers, wrestlers, and amateur kick boxers. I never even in the beginning felt my back wasn’t 100% covered. You may not know these kind of work situations, where the “customers”, are a blaze, flying their gang colors. Where the insult at the end of the night is one of those gang members tries to put $50 in your pocket, from the roll of ill-gotten gains. Telling you to buy something nice, while almost laughing in your face flaunting their rolls of cash.

There came a time for us, even with unity, our group was broke up. Things do change in life. It is the way of things. The youngest of our group broke away first, and move to a new position in the same company. An advancement, with a nice increase in pay. We were all pleased for him.

Our youngest group member had been working so hard to change his life. We all saw it as wonderful, and definitely for the better. He had trimmed down to a healthy weight, just before he had taken the new position. Shortly after that, he purchased a new car. Also because of the life changes and time, his skin cleared up from his youthful acne. But I think best of all at the time, it was nice to see our friend and fellow misfit was now, after never having been even noticed before, popular and even looked up to. He, we felt, was doing very well, and all of us were pleased. Our friend, even started dating, and soon found his first female companion. We all had spoken together as the relationship went forward. Some of us having more experience with relationships, and as this was his first, he was Cautioned, and it was Highly recommended that he simply be watchful considering the newness of it all. We were all friends, and friends do these things

It was only a short time later, when he said he was moving. He was taking up residence with his new girlfriend. He was challenged about this decision at the time. There was concern that time didn’t allow him the knowledge he needed, to properly evaluate the repercussions of the choice he was making. It was mentioned that returning to the former living situation wasn’t going to be a possibility. This because of a move being made stimulated by his move out. This was presented to him not because of perceived rashness of his choice, but financial needs. A last attempt was still made to snap him out of the spell he was under. The spell cast by a mans first love.

His choice made, he fell into the rhythm of work and his new relationship easily. The female attention he had, new and fresh though it was to him, had its own agenda. In this case, I have felt it was financial security. He was a saver not a spender. There were no bad habits, for him. His life was frugal, never excessive. It just wasn’t him. Kind as he was, I think the stress of this new financial burden got to him over time. She was confronted by him, over the increasing financial burden, her having quit her job. Nothing unusual for her. She had him though and tried to used his inexperience against him. She told him it was over and to get out. I’m sure she was thinking he would apologize and bend to her demands. He did none of that. He took her at her word, which ended his first relationship.

A tough dream lost by a fine man. A man frankly never noticed, but by a few. With women, he for all but a few months of life, was 100% relegated to the friends list, without a thought. Not a crime, but a fact. I feel a weight he felt he couldn’t face. He had changed all he had been, but tried to be what he wasn’t, to be with someone who didn’t want the amazing man he was, or even the amazing man he was trying to become.

Don’t get me wrong, I know these situations go both ways but this is a part of my life I’m trying to share.

Caught, confused embarrassed and hurt by the loss of first love. He made a rash decision. My friend ended his life, with a $79.00 K-mart shotgun. Purchased the same day of the break up. He had taken a drive in his new car to the waterfront, looking across at the Seattle city skyline. He was found by a morning jogger. They brought in the police what they found on his person for ID was the paycheck stub for the check given to him when he finished work the night of his death.

I have always been a private guy I don’t go out much even now let alone then. We because of what we did we weren’t people’s favorite. You see five guys, all over six-foot, barreling out a Monte Carlo with a combined weight of 1500 lbs. (and armed) you pay attention. I had pulled a swing shift and was just getting to sleep, when a knock came on our door. I was my boss and the police. Nobody was coming in till I found out what the hell was going on. Informed, I seated them in the living room. I sharing a home now with my now dead friends brother. I went to his room, no one else was breaking this news.

I want you to know, some people are born hard, and some grow hard from life experience. Diamond hard is the only way I can break such news.

I cracked the door and stepped into his room. I closed the door, and woke his mother’s now only son. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was taking this man to the living room, to allow a total stranger, a police officer to boot, drop this suicide bomb on him. He woke slow, but I let the house guest sit. When I told him of his brother, I also told him of our guests. I also was left to tell him of the police’s request. A request for him to relinquish for a time his licensed sidearm.

Although I have done it before, that was the last time in my life, that I had to take a gun from someone. It’s just a shame it was this man. A person who had saved my ass time and again. This complex person, who had lost his own brother to a gunshot. A man who would have taken a bullet for me. A man who was now his parents only child. A man sadly short his brother, whose name was Scott.

Life’s Gun Battles

Guns are fine, it’s the people who have them that are the issue. I have three friends who have been shot down in the street, and one that blew his head off with a 79 dollar Kmart shotgun. I don’t deny you your Second Amendment right. I want you to have it. But, suspicion and threat isn’t a reason to kill. Nor is depression.

When you’ve been shot at personally, come talk to me. When you’ve been held at gun point, (more than once) come talk to me. When you’ve provided aid to gunshot victims, come talk to me. When you’ve cleaned up the blood from repeated eruptions of violence,  come talk to me. When you’ve taken the gun from the hand of a man about to commit a murder, then come talk to me. When your friend sits in wheel chair, forever changed from being shot in the streets, then come talk to me. When one of your friends needs 9 surgeries,to save his life, from gun shot wounds to the belly, then come talk to me. When you testify in attempted murder trail, because your friend has been beat down by those who commit violence, while you’re held back so you can watch the beating, then come talk to me about what you really know about guns, and what they really do.

Come walk a mile in my shoes, with something besides what you read on board, and how you interpret it. Only then we will be on fair ground. Till them count yourselves lucky when you go to bed at night, that none of this has happened to you. Know you’re better off just seeing it on TV, as then you won’t get hurt. But when it’s you, and you have some reality besides what you read and see on the tube, then you can fairly tell me your opinions. Till then be happy. And know I pray, honestly pray, we never meet having these shared experiences as common ground.

I’ve scratched the surface of my experience here. How have you formed your opinions on guns and gun control?  I don’t think or believe it to be a bad thing for most. As most are and can be trustworthy and responsible.  But I have experience, that overshadows anything you can see on TV, or read on the web or in a paper.  It can even overwhelm my own good sense, when confronted with my own experience,  as to who should and shouldn’t have firearms. It’s tough to see your fellow-man shot down in the streets.

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” A quote from Isaac Asimov, a Vice President of Mensa International, in his day. A quote I believe to be true. But in using his words, and professing my agreement, the fully uneducated person I am, must not have thought it through. I must not have considered fully, as he did, the meaning of the words. I must not have tried to put the meaning of the words into practice in my own life. I must not have been able like he, to consider the morals and ethics, in the taking of  life.

I’ve seen enough. I don’t need to see any more, to judge myself and my fellow-man. It’s been shown to me. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. You see violence, it’s been the last refuge of the incompetent for a while now. Please though, continue to Judge me for my life experiences, as I’ve seen you Judge others in ignorance. I have an opinion forged  in the fires violence, tempered by real word experience. I don’t want to take anything from my fellows. What I wish for is reason and logic, in our decision-making processes. Not total denial of our rights.

What experiences do you have with Guns and/or Gun Violence,  helping to form your opinions and changing your life?

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