The Darker Side of a Human Experience

I find many have questions about my personal issues. They want to know why I call myself a hermit. Some what to know how I became a hermit. Others ask why I feel a need to limit my contact with people, even as I profess to loving all of humanity and the wonders of uniqueness within all people. So, I will attempt to share the truth and whys of this aspect of my life.

There is a time in my past where I lost all faith in the decency of my fellow humans. It took some time for these feelings of fading faith and trust, to degrade to a point, where a single action pushed these issues straight over the edge, for yours truly.

I know I’ve seen more of the darker side of humanity, than most. I think that’s a good thing though. I think, most often, those on the darker side haven’t made an overt or conscious choice to get where they are. With circumstances often beyond youths control, youth as it ages in difficulty and stress, moves towards this, that I call the darker side of a human experience.

My first upset back then, was the effect of poverty. Even in a western culture, under our standards, poverty is a sad state of affairs. It wasn’t the struggle of the adults in poverty that was difficult. It was the suffering of the young whose parents were struggling. It was knowing that there was enough not to end the struggle of the parents but the suffering of the children.

Seeing how youth has changed, and not for the better, when something truly their own, was missing from their life. When others have had good summer vacations with family, but yours was trying to save some change for clean laundry. Knowing other families have leftovers from meals, when your experience is white bread and mayonnaise sandwiches, after scraping together enough change, at the month’s end, for a loaf of bread, isn’t the best place for youth to consider their future.

So I’ve watched what actions become more common and seemingly acceptable as these age groups progress in years. Knowing at the same time, because of various other experiences, that such a life for children doesn’t have to exist . That doesn’t stop the negative advancement. Knowing there’s an answer and having the powers that be take the decision that gives the answer motion are completely different.

My first hit to faith was the no action for the sake of children. My second hit to faith was the young themselves, and the ease at which their ethical actions push aside. But here, I don’t actually see any behaviors that other poor populace’s don’t espouse when impoverished themselves. Maybe I was wrong to hope for better.

These are small issues. The true move over the edge is seeing those youth who’ve become adults in this environment, who now have a real choice in life, as to their direction, choosing to advance their loss of moral and ethical values under the free will of adulthood.

These observations of a communities dynamic came from direct observation, while working at a crappy Convenience-Store. Granted, you do see the best and the worst of humanity in such a place. Honestly though, those best parts of humanity are very few and farther between, than one would hope.

The worst of humanity is what caused my personal change. My lack of trust and loss of faith in my fellow-man, is complete with this, the worst part. That part being those youths who’ve grown to adulthood and not changed their path but escalated their crimes.

I had a friend stop in my work after his work to grab his nightly 16 ounce beer and chat. I had a bunch of customers rushing to buy alcohol, and in queue. My friend said hello to a female customer, and all hell broke loose. My friend was then attacked, by the girls boyfriend, who was also a neighborhood gang member. While this happened others held me back, and seeing an opportunity the customers looted the store. Meanwhile while being held back, the gang members attempted the murder of my friend while I could only struggle and watch.

When it finished, after the looting beating ambulance and police, I cleaned up the puddles of blood my friend had left, and pulled blood spattered products off the shelves, and tried to clean the dried droplets from the windows, and finished my shift. I’ve never to return to the neighborhood let alone the store.

Several months later I testified against the three gang member, at trial. They were, convicted. I lost a friend too. I think that was destiny. I know I suffered guilt for so long, not being able to save a friend from such a fate. I’ve also even though I love humanity, I have no faith or trust in those whom I don’t know. This is why I choose the life of a hermit. These circumstances are why I stay close to home. You see it’s not for me I stay home, it’s for you. Protection is the concern. Protecting you from me. My lack of trust and faith in you, brings me to a full defensive state. A state of mind where the unknowns are a danger and those dangers might cause on my part the inappropriate actions, of which I complain. A loss of morals and ethics, as my body slips into survival mood.

I am kind loving stable and happy when holding down the hermit home front. I am a spring ready to snap, ready to give up my life for those I love, without question, on a seconds notice of perceived danger. I am a hermit, and see myself as an unaccounted for variable when spending time in public. As a hermit I care and I love, in public I’m a time bomb that searches for injustice and crime. I have what I’m told is a special look. Which has now and then served me well. The unknown for other is when that look comes, how close I am to dispensing my brand of vigilantly justice, with a special emphasis on adults who are lucky enough to have children, but choose to abuse them in public. Because the children are innocence, till the world of selfish uncaring inattentive abusive adults, destroys the children from within.

So, Why am I a hermit? I am a hermit for you, so I can keep love in my heart for everyone.

I Know What I Feel

Here is a sentence that holds more truths than the simple words imply. “I know what I feel.”

Feelings are a burden. The overriding of logic with emotion,. a problem specific only to humans in our animal kingdom. Many times a serious hindrance to our advancement as a species, while it adds depth to culture. Isn’t depth in culture, the path to allow a thinking species its eventual advancement? It feels as if that’s the answer in a times of heightened emotion. Simply talking the foot off the gas, of the one “unified world” theory.

Even the staggering stumbling steps so far, seem destined to fail. As the “Emotions” we share are the same, but the “Feelings” stimulated vary by culture, upbringing, and personal experience. This variance is what causes a continuation to illogical wars. While also making a world governing body an eventual, and inevitable failure, without a change from its present philosophical direction. One which presently seems diametrically opposed to culture, despite the titles given to its programs .

I feel power and domination forcing change, isn’t real change. I feel finding supporters of domination, by the powerful, and their interventions to cause change, isn’t real change either. I’d like to feel centralized power in a few elites, is losing the control it once had. Unfortunately I’m a realist, and the needed technologies aren’t there yet. I also feel it won’t, for many “justified“ reasons . I don’t feel good about that either, because there are many methods implemented to form the cultures opinion. Not all of those methods are of organic origin, but planned manipulations. All opinions can’t even yet be understood without this depth of cultures. I feel there is constant work to stifle this depth, going on behind the scenes daily.

I feel a wave is slowly forming in all regions of the world, and I’m not speaking of the many “springs”. I feel a wave of understanding has begun to take form, on the manipulations of the past, and the abuses brought on the various cultures by those manipulations. I feel the worst part is, these manipulations of people’s  over the years  were somehow for me.

I fail to understand those with power. I see power in domination, but I see how compromise has infinite power as well. Even if it’s a slightly different form. How can this not be seen as the tool it is? Is it that it’s more difficult and requires one to learn new tactics? To actually think. The power wielded through compromise builds feeling and cultural connection. Power through domination, overt or subtle, stomps feeling and cultural connection.

We value material as the citizens of a nations of dominating power, not culture. Is that the right side of history? I feel human drones aren’t what we were to aspire to . A mirror image of each other worldwide, isn’t a rich place to live. Even with the latest I-Phone, you’re just another worker bee.

Our world is as diverse as its people and their feelings. Those feelings form opinions. The present trend of a “one size fits all” method of rule, seems destined to fail. Unification of cultures isn’t possible yet, with our lack of depth. Our understand of each other has some way to go I feel, and from now on cultural depth is under fire.

My reference for these thoughts of mine are, “I know what I feel”.

 

Hooray it’s Over, But it’s Really Not

Nothing like Election Day. The best part is the constant bombardment of politically motivated advertising ends. Can I get a Hip Hip Hooray? I’m so sick of it. I’m sure there are many like me. I mean, Good Lord, the waste of money. It really should piss off millions. Poor and rich folk alike. I really don’t think, even though I know my preferred “Third Party” candidate, for the top office, won’t win, that I’m much different than any other rational person on this issue. Excessive isn’t the word for it. It’s more than that. When I think of the “Real Good” that could have been accomplished with a billion dollars. It’s simply sad., and truly a national embarrassment.

In this sickness, a manipulation of people, I’d like to point out, to anyone who might read this, that there was a time, when we in our legal system, people could be property. We came to understand though, over time, our error. In that time there was an explosion. We call it a Civil War.

Though some issues were resolved, it was brutal and bloody. People, those who were slaves and the free alike, made it through. We as a country, recovered in many ways and began moving forward again. But the effects of this “War of Sides” still linger, even today, Even in spite of the many remarkable changes to our social structure and preconceived notions, over the many years since.

Now in our legal system, we’ve flip-flopped. A term we’ve heard too much, this election cycle. Here though, it fits well. The legal belief now is most easily stated as, Property transformed to living people.

Frankly this Magic Trick, has caused a division within the actual persons who populate our beautiful country. But even worse than that, for 6 months or more, it’s drove us all either insane, or toward the repeated consumption of strong drink. Something I recommend and fully support, to get one through the “Regular” nattering of political rhetoric.

This cycle has been anything but regular. In fact, while the rational tip a few to make it over the hump of these elections, we’ve sunk to new lows. Waste, total waste, on little more to those aware, than lies and manipulations. Even by foreign groups. I mean really? That crap just makes me sizzle, and it should. It also needs to, and should, STOP!!!!!

We do still have a choice, for those who can see past this media mind game. We speak up, explaining the media manipulation, and the mind game it plays, for those who can’t see through this fog. Taking a stand, and holding it, is a start. I can’t, and I hope others can’t either, just let this go for 2 or 4 years. When once again, the discussion becomes overshadowed, in the electioneering of new campaigns.

“We the People” are the words. The words are not, we the “people” which includes non-living legal entities and special interests. I mean get a grip. Any one of us, as being a real person understand what people are, being one ourselves. Those types of people, the ones you and I know and see everyday, the ones who have relationships, live and create through the process of biological procreation, should be our governments focus, Those are the people referred to in. the “We the People” in the preamble of the United States Constitution. That should have been obvious to anyone, who’s ever shook anybodies hand. But it wasn’t, so “We the People” real actual and true, must tell them continuously and without fail, until our elections are once again….. by and for the people.

 

Austerity, Creating the EU Caste Sysytem

I find myself today, revisiting comments I’ve made in the past, regarding the EU and it’s direction, with a focus on the average citizen’s suffering, due to forced austerity. I’m not sure any nation in the EU, accepted or expected “The Brussels, Financial Inquisition”. To clarify my feelings on this situation, I will use Greece as my example.

The Greek people have seen the many methods and pressures, that have caused a forced loss of their national sovereignty. Austerity and budgeting changes, conforming with the policies and practices of the German Bundesbank. These changes, required by the EU, don’t conform to the needs of the people and their government, anywhere else but Germany. These dictated mandates, by the ruling factions in the EU’s fiscal framework, serve only to raise fear in the affected nations. Fears of a lost culture and fears of lost social connections, are in the public’s mind. Rightly so I feel, as national identities are suppressed, for a Euro-centric patriotism.

The Fiscal Union, a one size fits all plan, was poorly conceived. The nation states joining, poorly vetted, regarding budgets and debts. A fly by the seat of your pants operation, with a fix-it as we go policy. A policy that has had repercussions world wide.

Bearing the brunt of the these circumstances, we find the average citizen of Greece. These are folks, who amid all the controversy surrounding tax dodging in Greece, are those who had few resources, with neither a need or the means to shelter resources from taxation. But these normal folk, are left to suffer through no fault of their own.

These forced austerity controls, roll over sovereignty. Greece will not be the only one. Greece is being used as an example. This while bailouts go directly to service debt. That means those bailout funds go directly, with small exception, right back to the banks. Serving to actually raise debt, not lower it.

This genocide of self determination, will be more apparent when children take to the streets to beg, as they do in India. The example being made of Greece, as 150 new austerity demands come from the EU, for Greece’s Parliament to pass legislation on, only prove the manipulation and pressure by the EU machine.

This tragedy will create, an even larger underclass, and causes me to wonder if the Caste system is the end game in the EU. To create the rulers and the ruled. To progress the gap between the Have’s and Have Not’s. The paths chosen by the EU monetary union, seem to support this creation of an India style, culture of classes, for the creation of a caste system in the EU.

This touches merely the edge of this issue. Human nature says to me, those with power wish to retain power. Human nature also says to me, based on the “I must have mine, before you have yours” principle tells me, this will only progress in the future. The continued siphoning up of wealth, that makes the rich richer and the poor poorer, is clearly set to continue (worldwide). As the economic and fiscal power player, Germany has returned to Dictatorship, whether they like it or not. Greece fought off the German occupation in WWII, too bad history isn’t set to repeat itself.

Following a Trickle Down Media

I’m just a watcher of finance and markets. I’ve always felt, tracking money and markets would give me a better look at what the future holds. Like most I have hoped for a better, and if not better, a more stable future. I’ve found the truth of our future. I must say, I was wrong to hold out hope. I was so wrong.

We’ve seen not but lies scams and fraud, from our markets. If you’ve missed this, there are many news articles from numerous sources that highlight the issue. None of these articles break into the why of it, merely presenting watered down boondoggles, of little value to readers.

A trickle down media is almost as productive, as trickle down economics. Not at all. But then again we have to acknowledge that media has no obligation to report the truth. A ruling from a suit against FOX. The general population has no realization of that fact. They tune in to the nightly news, any source, and expect that what they are hearing in the broadcast as fact and truth. This just isn’t the case.

Looking at mechanisms of control, it’s best to have those whom can have their beliefs manipulated. Blind acceptance is what’s required to carry through disinformation, and have it believed and acted on by the masses. Blind acceptance is what allows the “It’s getting better” stories in the media, to be believed.

This acceptance is actually ground into us by our parents and teachers, and begins when we are young. We’ve been taught to give respect to certain groups of individuals. This training helps enables blind acceptance in our later life. It’s this myth, that certain classes deserve unquestioning acceptance.

Groups such as Doctor Lawyers, Politicians, and those with higher educations. Into this group has slipped television personalities, because of our worship of fame and fortune.

This hypnotism of the greater populous, keeps a large group that should be extremely outraged by the direction we’ve taken, in their easy chairs. There should be outrage over unconstitutional moves by our government. There should be outrage over a Fed policy that makes each dollar in your pocket worth less, until the dollar is worthless. There should be outrage over people being excluded from the governments attention, while business is given every chance, as banks are flooded with free moneys.

What the future holds under the current direction, is more manipulations by the powers that be. More stories about how much work is being done for the people. While behind the scenes, the sell out of people, for the benefit of banking business and political clout, continues. I’m sickened by this sound bites reality TV culture. I search for truth, and even though I note my fellows unquestioning acquiescence to these sources who silently claim to be bearers of truth, I have to question myself and my desire for a informed population. Maybe the blind unquestioning follower, deserve everything coming their way. That might be the only way, for some to step up and demand reality from the powers that be. The simple honest truth.

 

Strangers of Truth

People are people. We assemble complex structures of belief. We believe our way, is the best way. We can’t see through our self created matrix of belief, to see the truth. At our core, we are all brothers and sisters. Family, more than strangers.

%d bloggers like this: