Have You Hugged a Homebody Today?

I stepped out yesterday, to do a bit of shopping. Not my favorite thing, it always heightens my nerves. A noted ,but controllable result of PTSD. This experience is nothing new for me, and can bring things into your awareness that most people would never notice. In every bunch of us there’s some who stand out. Most note someone tall or short, men and women note attractive women and men, and children misbehaving, draw the awareness of most adults. However, and I’ve commented on this before, there are those in the world invisible and missed. I think I see these invisible and forgotten based on past work experience. Along with this awareness given me, when I feel a bit odd from a PTSD response.

These aren’t people wearing funny hats or tattered clothing. That’s not what draws my attention. These oddities are subtle. It’s a look for some. Not the way the face looks, but where when approached the eyes go. But I understand it, I think.

You see, or maybe you don’t, these are people specifically trying to not catch anyone’s attention. It’s purposeful. You’ve known people like these all your lives. You knew them in school, when we called them shy. Some who were once bubbly and out going, may have changed themselves. Myself, I’m am a bit of a hermit now. Where as in my youth, I was very out going.

Whether you’ve known, know, or have noticed these my brother and sister, we are different. there’s no question. Some think we are angry grumpy rude. No, we’re overwhelmed, because we are quiet introspective homebody’s. This means we are hard to get to know.

From my perspective I have limits in the number of people I’m comfortable within a group, and that’s not 200 people moving about in a rush pushing carts in a shopping frenzy. In fact, my personal comfort zone is about 6 people.

Maybe my PTSD has helped in a way, if I’m honest. When I was one of those friendly social group gathering people, I passed judgment, all be it quietly and personally on people who were shy homebody’s. I did this in ignorance then. I was young invincible, living life fast, putting myself in difficult positions. Actions on my part that allowed me to experience, even if traumatic painful and tragic, this change. I’ve repent and understand, my private home-bodied brothers and sisters.

The funny thing though, like everyone else we are just trying to get by. Trying to get along in packed spaces. Trying to not be a bother or even be noticed. We, my antisocial family, aren’t hateful. Most of us, I feel, have good thoughts for our fellows. Some I’m sure, are even envious of the social butterflies out in the world. We are here, all over, waiting on the non-judgmental, the patient, and the calm to note our qualities. We make trustworthy loyal rational. life long friends, not hundreds of acquaintances. We in the end, are simply people. We offer a different perspective.

Have you hugged a homebody today?

BRICS Union’s Golden Future

B= Brazil  (Gold)

R= Russia (Gold)

I= India (Gold)

C= China (Gold)

S= South Africa (Gold)    South Africa alone, holds <40% of world gold reserves.

The Darker Side of a Human Experience

I find many have questions about my personal issues. They want to know why I call myself a hermit. Some what to know how I became a hermit. Others ask why I feel a need to limit my contact with people, even as I profess to loving all of humanity and the wonders of uniqueness within all people. So, I will attempt to share the truth and whys of this aspect of my life.

There is a time in my past where I lost all faith in the decency of my fellow humans. It took some time for these feelings of fading faith and trust, to degrade to a point, where a single action pushed these issues straight over the edge, for yours truly.

I know I’ve seen more of the darker side of humanity, than most. I think that’s a good thing though. I think, most often, those on the darker side haven’t made an overt or conscious choice to get where they are. With circumstances often beyond youths control, youth as it ages in difficulty and stress, moves towards this, that I call the darker side of a human experience.

My first upset back then, was the effect of poverty. Even in a western culture, under our standards, poverty is a sad state of affairs. It wasn’t the struggle of the adults in poverty that was difficult. It was the suffering of the young whose parents were struggling. It was knowing that there was enough not to end the struggle of the parents but the suffering of the children.

Seeing how youth has changed, and not for the better, when something truly their own, was missing from their life. When others have had good summer vacations with family, but yours was trying to save some change for clean laundry. Knowing other families have leftovers from meals, when your experience is white bread and mayonnaise sandwiches, after scraping together enough change, at the month’s end, for a loaf of bread, isn’t the best place for youth to consider their future.

So I’ve watched what actions become more common and seemingly acceptable as these age groups progress in years. Knowing at the same time, because of various other experiences, that such a life for children doesn’t have to exist . That doesn’t stop the negative advancement. Knowing there’s an answer and having the powers that be take the decision that gives the answer motion are completely different.

My first hit to faith was the no action for the sake of children. My second hit to faith was the young themselves, and the ease at which their ethical actions push aside. But here, I don’t actually see any behaviors that other poor populace’s don’t espouse when impoverished themselves. Maybe I was wrong to hope for better.

These are small issues. The true move over the edge is seeing those youth who’ve become adults in this environment, who now have a real choice in life, as to their direction, choosing to advance their loss of moral and ethical values under the free will of adulthood.

These observations of a communities dynamic came from direct observation, while working at a crappy Convenience-Store. Granted, you do see the best and the worst of humanity in such a place. Honestly though, those best parts of humanity are very few and farther between, than one would hope.

The worst of humanity is what caused my personal change. My lack of trust and loss of faith in my fellow-man, is complete with this, the worst part. That part being those youths who’ve grown to adulthood and not changed their path but escalated their crimes.

I had a friend stop in my work after his work to grab his nightly 16 ounce beer and chat. I had a bunch of customers rushing to buy alcohol, and in queue. My friend said hello to a female customer, and all hell broke loose. My friend was then attacked, by the girls boyfriend, who was also a neighborhood gang member. While this happened others held me back, and seeing an opportunity the customers looted the store. Meanwhile while being held back, the gang members attempted the murder of my friend while I could only struggle and watch.

When it finished, after the looting beating ambulance and police, I cleaned up the puddles of blood my friend had left, and pulled blood spattered products off the shelves, and tried to clean the dried droplets from the windows, and finished my shift. I’ve never to return to the neighborhood let alone the store.

Several months later I testified against the three gang member, at trial. They were, convicted. I lost a friend too. I think that was destiny. I know I suffered guilt for so long, not being able to save a friend from such a fate. I’ve also even though I love humanity, I have no faith or trust in those whom I don’t know. This is why I choose the life of a hermit. These circumstances are why I stay close to home. You see it’s not for me I stay home, it’s for you. Protection is the concern. Protecting you from me. My lack of trust and faith in you, brings me to a full defensive state. A state of mind where the unknowns are a danger and those dangers might cause on my part the inappropriate actions, of which I complain. A loss of morals and ethics, as my body slips into survival mood.

I am kind loving stable and happy when holding down the hermit home front. I am a spring ready to snap, ready to give up my life for those I love, without question, on a seconds notice of perceived danger. I am a hermit, and see myself as an unaccounted for variable when spending time in public. As a hermit I care and I love, in public I’m a time bomb that searches for injustice and crime. I have what I’m told is a special look. Which has now and then served me well. The unknown for other is when that look comes, how close I am to dispensing my brand of vigilantly justice, with a special emphasis on adults who are lucky enough to have children, but choose to abuse them in public. Because the children are innocence, till the world of selfish uncaring inattentive abusive adults, destroys the children from within.

So, Why am I a hermit? I am a hermit for you, so I can keep love in my heart for everyone.

Complaining about the Generations

I’m almost amused. Almost. I was thinking about how the generations, when adults, always complain about those generations in their youth. I think it’s been so, for a very long time. You can even hear the common statement of the group of elders, in your head if you try. Just go for cliché. “Oh, The world is going to hell, with the way these kids are today.” There’s also always some sort of discussion about Behavior, Disrespect, Lack of values, even Criminal Activities.

Yet each generation of our children grow into their teen years raised on a media diet that exposes the elder generations greatest worry concern and deepest fear. Installing, almost willingly through media indoctrination, exactly those issues and actions that grasp the attention of their elders, as weapons for a rebellious youth.

Youth will always rebel, and unfortunately most youth, because of their youth, have little wisdom. Rebellion without wisdom is a dangerous and volatile mix. Add a little depression and you have a bomb. Take take as a loose example, the Newtown, Connecticut shootings, at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

We as the elder generation, concentrate our scorn on the language of youth. A truly expressive even productive way to event frustration and anger. Stifling most chances for our aging youth, to relate the internal stresses rampant in those years, to those whom should listen and guide. But those who are to listen allow the disaffected youth, close to unfettered access to their deepest fears, through news, serial programs, movies, and video games.

We have created many and increasing hardships on youth and young adults. By a changing work force. By divorces, unwed mothers, and absentee fathers. By failures in education due to standardized testing and ever-increasing budget cuts. A choice lessening the draw of college students to teaching. A career path seen to have unfair remuneration standards, with little to no prestige and ever decreasing gratitude, and a growing need for out-of-pocket expenditures for proper lessons.

These actions, whether it’s the language restrictions that stifled communication, media exposure to a cultures greatest fears, the parental guidance for the young that’s missing, due to a changing work force and new family types, the growing lack of quality comprehensive primary and secondary education, because of a lessening in activities, facilities, materials, assistance, and standards, or a fall in those who would glory in teaching, if they weren’t crapped on, has taken a toll on our children.

That almost amusing part is, each one of these actions on the younger generation that’s caused damaged, cast aspersions, or drove one to a violent outburst, were either voted on, chosen by, or allowed by the adults. And strangely, those same adults, are the ones who often complain about, or criticize the next generation. And even more odd and disturbing, those same adults again, were those who as adults should have protect and guide those youths to adulthood.

 

What’s Sanity?

What is sanity? When the violence crime and other threats to the public are gone, what becomes the new criteria for judgement? Especially when one understands how Psychiatric conditions become known, and have treatment defined.

The loose set of symptomology, within various conditions, allows now for multiple diagnoses. Thus making some condition or another almost assured. Not that is the biggest problem. The biggest problem is getting the correct diagnosis.

So again, who’s to say in the future, who is in need of help? Especially when, voting determines new conditions and treatments, for a group of people requiring a client to return for prescription medication, to support and grow their practices.

When that is the business model, of a supposed medical discipline, the adding of new voted on mental health conditions, not research from a lab, do you really think anyone will leave the office without a prescription? Also, how do you treat with medication, a condition that isn’t always  clear or  diagnosed by medical testing? How is prescribing medication based on guess-work and opinion, medically effective? Who’s then safe from becoming labeled?

Do remember their thinking. For example, now if you’re concerned with health and eating good safe foods, you have a mental health condition called Orthorexia. So remember, there’s always a new condition they want to treat with a pill.  Now in this day and age, even taking good care of yourself and being careful about what you eat, is now a mental illness.

Are You Safe?

Guns Mental Health and Manipulation

I have experience dealing with those who have mental health issues. I’ve also listened to the current gun control debate, with all the proposals put forth, as actions to take. There was an action recommended, that I found the most disingenuous. The action was to increase funding to mental health services, so those who may cause violent get weeded out, with a list created of those names. These would be lists of those they consider a future risk to the public.

Doesn’t this action remind anyone of a lesson we should have learned long ago? Also, hasn’t anyone connected the issues between the growing use of psychoactive and psycho-reactive “Prescription Drugs”. Use is rapidly growing, especially by those younger in age, at the behest of school teacher, school officials, councilors, and parents.

Think of the lists they will make, or have already made. Is your child identified as ADD or ADHD? Is there a comment about antisocial behavior, or a “doesn’t work well with others”, on your child’s report card? Has you child even been in a fight at school? Have you ever seen a councilor or psychologist? Have you ever been prescribed a medication used by Psychiatrist, for treating  stress anxiety or depression?

That list just grows and grows, once you start. You also need to ask, what good will a list actually do for the public good? At this point you might even ask, is the list they want to make, for the public’s good to start. Especially with the loss to our rights and privacy that have already taken place.

The Pharmaceutical Multinationals will have to take note, making real and substantive statements about these risks and efficacy of their medications.

So, I see a few problems. I see the list making by the government as, an identified danger from the past. I see the weakened, due to real mental health concerns, as ripe for abuse by government-funded mental health, and psychiatric systems. Those in the government-funded system have little to no defense against such abuses, and accept medications without understanding them. The greatest majority lack the ability to question the choice of one drug over another,. I see the growth of those young given an ADD and ADHD diagnosis as more than an issue of misdiagnosis. I see the arrest of a 6-year-old, for making a gun with their fingers, as I did as a child, as not a safety measure. I see these media spectacles not as news, but a psychological manipulation of the adult populations opinion. As there’s a Huge movement to limit the future disbursement of firearms

The plan fact is, there are those who will do horrible things, and when an inappropriate variable’s included in the mix it’s even more likely. Fact is, gun control laws won’t matter, to those who will do horrible things. Fact is, those with mental health issues are easily manipulated and easy scapegoats. Fact is, many mental health related pharmaceuticals have some horrible side effects. Fact is Psychiatry is a business and if they don’t prescribe, people don’t come back. A fact that’s also true is, when power and control become involved, those in the mix no matter the side will present only facts that support their side of the argument. The sad fact to all of this, many will believe a side of an issue without ever looking at the issue.

Let’s be real, those that need mental health care, generally receive poor care. This will not change. And let’s be real again, taking guns from the public would be more dangerous to the public, than leaving the guns in the hands of their owners. Lets be real too, there will always be those who go over the edge, and not having a gun for them, won’t change the outcome.

Conclusion : All the rhetoric, no matter the side, is simply that rhetoric. And any appearance of concern for ones fellows in this debate, is only pretense. Make your own call, instead of falling in line with those who would manipulate you to “Blame” today’s favorite whipping boy, The Mentally Ill.

I Know What I Feel

Here is a sentence that holds more truths than the simple words imply. “I know what I feel.”

Feelings are a burden. The overriding of logic with emotion,. a problem specific only to humans in our animal kingdom. Many times a serious hindrance to our advancement as a species, while it adds depth to culture. Isn’t depth in culture, the path to allow a thinking species its eventual advancement? It feels as if that’s the answer in a times of heightened emotion. Simply talking the foot off the gas, of the one “unified world” theory.

Even the staggering stumbling steps so far, seem destined to fail. As the “Emotions” we share are the same, but the “Feelings” stimulated vary by culture, upbringing, and personal experience. This variance is what causes a continuation to illogical wars. While also making a world governing body an eventual, and inevitable failure, without a change from its present philosophical direction. One which presently seems diametrically opposed to culture, despite the titles given to its programs .

I feel power and domination forcing change, isn’t real change. I feel finding supporters of domination, by the powerful, and their interventions to cause change, isn’t real change either. I’d like to feel centralized power in a few elites, is losing the control it once had. Unfortunately I’m a realist, and the needed technologies aren’t there yet. I also feel it won’t, for many “justified“ reasons . I don’t feel good about that either, because there are many methods implemented to form the cultures opinion. Not all of those methods are of organic origin, but planned manipulations. All opinions can’t even yet be understood without this depth of cultures. I feel there is constant work to stifle this depth, going on behind the scenes daily.

I feel a wave is slowly forming in all regions of the world, and I’m not speaking of the many “springs”. I feel a wave of understanding has begun to take form, on the manipulations of the past, and the abuses brought on the various cultures by those manipulations. I feel the worst part is, these manipulations of people’s  over the years  were somehow for me.

I fail to understand those with power. I see power in domination, but I see how compromise has infinite power as well. Even if it’s a slightly different form. How can this not be seen as the tool it is? Is it that it’s more difficult and requires one to learn new tactics? To actually think. The power wielded through compromise builds feeling and cultural connection. Power through domination, overt or subtle, stomps feeling and cultural connection.

We value material as the citizens of a nations of dominating power, not culture. Is that the right side of history? I feel human drones aren’t what we were to aspire to . A mirror image of each other worldwide, isn’t a rich place to live. Even with the latest I-Phone, you’re just another worker bee.

Our world is as diverse as its people and their feelings. Those feelings form opinions. The present trend of a “one size fits all” method of rule, seems destined to fail. Unification of cultures isn’t possible yet, with our lack of depth. Our understand of each other has some way to go I feel, and from now on cultural depth is under fire.

My reference for these thoughts of mine are, “I know what I feel”.

 

Make the Transformation

The observer in me has little to do with, the entertainments on offer from the mainstream media.

I  know when my taste for the light programing on offer, transformed. I had been a TV junkie from youngster, into my mid-teens. The sheer fiction, was an escape then for me. The change was a realization, while watching real people in real distress, over a 90 day period.

Fiction of a mind and the realities of a life, are overwhelming at times, just to see. Hearing the truths of a life, can bring you to sobbing tears. Being let into the fiction in a mind causes laughter intrigue, and even at times fear.

The transformation is one of understanding, even maturity. Movies, sitcoms, night-time soap-operas serials,and the news, will never be real. Ads try to sell you what you don’t need. The news is, dumbed down and propagandized. A sit-com shows you a life of mirth, people don’t normally have, and make you want it. Night time soaps show men or women stylized in a dream, and they will never be your partner. The serial dramas show you power and wealth regular people don’t have, but leave you desirous of both. The Movies are all the above.

These tools used to manipulate opinion and sell products, have the mind trapped. They have minds earning for a false reality. Why does the world not change? Trapped minds living in a media created, false reality of escapism.

Escapism to other lives and experiences. And all the goods advertised during the ad break, silently say, I can give you  your hearts deepest desire.  These goods will bring you happiness success and love, is a brazen fiction of the mind. The shows serve to distract you, from the problems and concerns of daily life. The news shapes itself, to what you need to hear., to keep you feeding into the Colosseum for the show.

The slap of reality, brought the transformation. Real people. Real life. These are real entertainments. It all starts with turning off “The Idiot Box” and tuning back on our real relationships. . As there will never be anything more interesting, comical, scary, moving, alluring, educating or down right entertaining, than those we allow into our lives. When we make our transformation, and turn off the tool of manipulation, “The Idiot Box”, and turn on to the one truth, all we will ever really have is each other. Frugality is all that’s needed, not forbiddance.

Fighting the Egocentric Army

Worry, concern, compassion for ones fellow human beings, has faded. The manufactured, self-centered, egocentric army advances. As well as the societal filters that blind us to the suffering of others, and the growing inequity within our own systems of belief. With little notice or commentary, the populations of advanced countries are guided to their own self-absorbed doom. Led as they are, even in times of crisis, to accept the manipulations of the media. Even answering the call for increased consumption of goods, propagandized as the public’s duty. This “duty” going almost completely unquestioned. Because those that do question, receive the media’s label of anti-American. Or worse.

Just the promotion of these actions to the public, serves to advance an intolerant view. Between disinformation and the advancement of a competitive consumer culture, you have a less informed population willing to stand in a line. Sometimes, for days. Simply to replace a still workable and functioning gadget, with a slightly revised version of the same product. Never taking into account, they already have and own the same product.

It’s manufactured madness. A condition which allows specific concerns, to tell the public who they are, by what they believe and consume. It allows for the stifling of dissenting opinion, and sets the mark between the in and out, the haves and have not, the popular in crowd, and those to be considered outside the excepted norms. It divides a population, because a united population is a danger to the dominate systems power.

Government, finance, and business worldwide, can’t survive in their present form, if a united front, of an educated populace, not distracted by entitled consumerism, or a feeling of needing to keep up with the Joneses”, truly grows in numbers and voice. If awareness grows, concerning the actions of the manipulative mainstream media. The public might speak out against the dumbing down of information and the reporting of half stories. The public could begin to see how media corporations edited news stories and choose advertising that fits the media company’s corporate agenda.

The conversation about a media created, first world, programmed consumer culture, must continuing. It is key to ending its folly. There are many unread news sources, columns, and bloggers, opining on the same issues mentioned here. I am proud to add my thoughts and words to the others, with continued posts on this subject.

I want the best for my fellows, and that includes truth. One person at a time, is how to break the hold on the public’s psyche. The possibility of my words, added to the other voices, helping one person to change their perspective and point of view, away from the self-absorbed doom, is why I continue writing.

 

Education, The Fourth Estate and a Totalitarian Future

I’ve been called an information sponge. I, however, consider myself only a watcher. A spectator, who studies the nature of man . Having in my life, dealt with many suffering from psychotic schizoid dissociative borderline paranoid delusional, personality disorders. The symptomatology of each of these psychiatric circumstances, are the elements I use to judge micro and macro information disseminated to the public by the fourth estate.

I’m just getting used to being a critic. I think it’s helped over the last two years, that I’ve sat as a panelist, reviewing literature for an award. This has been a quality experience, and plays nicely into my inclinations to check up on the mainstream press. A group definitely needing a bit of oversight.

Like our economy here in America, the press also works on a trickle down philosophy. Dumbed down false stories, partial  stories, celebrity stories, sound bite disinformation, and propaganda are the tools used now by our fourth estate. They create a daily spectacle for the people, holding the line given by those they are beholding to for access. This falls into access to basic press briefing, personal interviews, and even insider tips.

The fourth estate being chained to these, their sources, in no way allows for  a dissemination of  accurate unbiased reporting of fact. It only allows for the status quo presently in place, to continue its campaign of dumbing down their viewer the voter and the country.

The worst of it is, if you look at the state of education and the impotence of the fourth estate to inform with actually facts not opinion based spin, sets up a catastrophe in the making. A poorly educated, ill-informed public is they easiest to manipulate.

It will be those young and coming of age who will be the most effected. I think if we love our children maybe we should step away from the propaganda of mainstream disinformation. It’s easy to do in these day we live now. The Internet here, is a blessing. The Internet can also be a blessing in your child’s, “No Child Left Behind” education. Especially considering a no child left behind class, learns at the pace of the slowest among the classroom of students. I call it an, “almost all children left behind” policy. Net time can help this, in a time where schools can’t afford text books for each students use. A condition causing few, to no text books, to ever be brought home for further study.

What I wish most is a return to a skeptical public. As opposed to the sheep like acceptance slowly coming on the wings of poor education, and a beholding fourth estate, that is a growing sector of manipulation, and dare I say, flat-out lies. No change to this present trends of the fourth estate and education , leads to a quietly created totalitarian government.

Just thought I’d throw this opinion out there, to kick around for a bit.

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